Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize