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i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
