I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
