someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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