Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
