I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
