I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
