your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
