sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
