the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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