Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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