pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
