I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
