At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
