i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
