I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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