I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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