Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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