her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
