i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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