spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
