your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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