whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
