Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
