We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
