She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
