If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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