I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
