Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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