what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Randomize
