Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
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