I'm going to jail i love you
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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