You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
