Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
