its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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