Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
