Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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