And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
