When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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