Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize