guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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