ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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