just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
