alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I have aggressive nipples.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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