he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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