Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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