I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
