After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
