yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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