smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
