Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just had sex on a roof
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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