what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
