i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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